Intolerance is Absolutely Intolerable!

Today, May 17th, is International Day Against Homophobia. A day when people around the world come together to fight prejudice, to stand against bullies, to say no to hate, to say yes to equal human rights for everyone. No exceptions!

In honor of this day and this cause, which is hugely important to me, I have joined the Hop Against Homophobia. Make the jump to find a list of links to hundreds of authors, publishers, and readers participating. Many of them will be blogging over the next three days to speak out against homophobia. Many will discuss LGBTQIA issues, their own personal stories, and what has inspired them. Many will be offering resources, places for you to reach out. If you are in need of help, please be sure to look at the list of resources at the end of this article!

All of the blogs participating in the hop will be offering give aways. Here, at Creative Antics, if you leave a comment on any day of the hop, and provide your email address, you will be automatically entered to win a copy of Mnevermind: Persistence of Memory, the first book in a new series by Jordan Castillo Price. Jordan is one of my favorite authors, whose stories are partially responsible for inspiring me to write LGBT fiction. I will blog more about Jordan and Mnevermind later in the week, as well as tell you more about a few of my own creative projects, so be sure to stop back by. The winner will be announced here on Sunday, May 21st.

Why am I involved in the fight against homophobia? Well it isn't simply because I write M/M Romance, or LGBT fiction. I mean, sure I write M/M, and F/F, and M/F, not to mention YA stories, pretty much every letter combo there is. Whatever the muse inspires. I am, in fact, an independent interdisciplinary artist. But, I have a very personal interest in fighting homophobia, in fighting for human rights and equality, and it is this personal stake which drives me to look for any way to help stop the atrocities caused by intolerance. I think it's important to share my story, to shoot straight about what motivates me. Fair warning. This is not a happy tale, though it is, without a doubt, what has brought me here today.

I lost one of my best friends, someone I considered family, to suicide just over five years ago. My friend, who was also my roommate for a time, was just one of many thousands of victims of homophobia. Even worse, she was bullied by the people who should have loved her the most. Her own parents. Their behavior, their homophobia, is shameful, and a community and country that continues to condone this kind of intolerance in any way is equally shameful.

There were few warnings, and though many of us knew how my friend had been treated by her family, none of us knew the extent of the damage this had caused her. None of us saw her suicide coming. In hindsight, there were things we all missed, things I would give just about anything to go back and change. But none of them were glaring. Even her long-term partner never expected to come home and find her gone at the age of twenty-six. In the end, her parents, who probably have a special reservation in hell, refused to even claim her body. It was up to her partner and all of us, her circle of friends, to take care of her. For this, I am actually thankful, that we were able to offer her a loving send off and a fitting tribute filled with all the love she deserved.

What haunts me the most is the memory of her apology note. It said she truly believed we would all live better lives without her. She was so, so wrong! I miss her every day, and my life will never be lived without her. She is with me all the time. I spent several years extremely angry with her, my way of dealing with my own guilt and pain. But, now I have turned that anger towards a drive to create change. I am determined to be heard. Homophobia has to stop. People are dying out there, children are dying, my friends and family are dying! This is unacceptable! Intolerance is absolutely intolerable!

Every day, I look at the picture on my desk of my lost friend, her lovely face smiles out at me, and I remember why it's important to write stories that promote diversity, that portray gay protagonists, that celebrate equality for everyone. I get involved in political activism, in creating community change, in educating and providing resources for our LGBTQIA youth, so they hopefully will never have to feel like outcasts. I often blog about LGBTQ issues, as well. Because, I want a world where my friends are no longer made to feel like this might be a better place without them. I want a world where everyone is free to be who they were born to be, a world where love is the most important thing, and who you love isn't. This is my way of honoring my lost friend, myself, and all of my fellow LGBTQIA community members.

If you are struggling with who you are, if you are being bullied or have been cast out by your loved ones, if you are dealing with what feels like unbearable pain, please know that there are so many people waiting and ready to help, who accept you exactly the way you are. Don't hesitate! Reach out to someone! Here are just a few of the places you can go to find  help and a loving community near you: The GLBT National Help Center, PFLAG, The Trevor Project,The Make it Safe Project .

For the Ones Who Are Questioning.

Tetsuya is a high school student struggling with the Q label. He is one of the many teens who are quietly questioning their sexual orientation. In case you don't know, this is what one of the Qs stands for in LGBTQIA. Of course, Tetsuya is a fictional character, a figment of West Thornhill's fertile imagination, who's wonderful story has posted today, along with Raiden & Hemp, over at The Raven's Crossing. Today, I blog in his honor, but I also blog for all of the very real people who are questioning.

Questions of sexual orientation can happen for many people at different stages of their lives. For those who begin to question during their teenage years, however, it can be an even more confusing and frightening time. One that can prove to be very dangerous. I know. I was a teen questioning my own sexuality while attending a very small high school in an extremely conservative farming community.

I don't wish this on anyone. In fact, I am adamant that no teens should have to feel alone and afraid to talk to others about their sexuality. It's vitally important that teens have people they can come to, people who are open to their questions and concerns. People who won't hit them with the pat, knee-jerk reaction that they are "too young to know or question these things." Dr. Jeffrey Fishberger of the Trevor Project often reminds adults that they don't react in this manner when teens come home talking about attractions to people of the opposite sex. It is important to take our questioning youth seriously, to treat them fairly and without judgement and bias. 

Luckily, for teens today, there are a wide variety of organizations that provide safe places with 24 hour help, places where people of all ages can go to ask important questions and find support. Please, if you find yourself questioning your sexuality, no matter what letter of the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Questioning, Intersex, or Ally (LGTBQIA) alphabet you wonder about, don't go through this process alone. You don't need to! You can contact The Trevor Lifeline and Trevorchat or the GLBT National Youth Talkline. Parents, guardians, teachers, friends, you also need to know how to best navigate questions from your teenagers regarding sexuality. Know that you are not alone, either. Please visit PFLAG to get support.

Again, we welcome everyone at The Ravens Crossing. Come join the fun, read about LGBTQIA characters you might identify with, leave comments, meet the staff, find friends, link to resources. But, most importantly, know that there is a huge community of people out in the world who support and love you no matter what questions you have, not matter what answers you find. 

You're the Top!

David Burtka and Neil Patrick Harris performed "You're the Top" for Trevor Live! If you haven't seen this, it's a must. Fantastic fun, gentlemen!

The video was up for several days, but has been removed due to "breech of the terms of use." I do hope you got to see it while it was out there floating around. 

More at Unicorn Booty.

Rainbows in a Winter Wonderland

Well, over here on the Creative Antics front, I enjoyed a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday with Andi Lea and her kids. Her home is always a pleasant retreat for me, a loving place where everyone is accepted unconditionally, where I know I am loved just the way I am.  I wish for all of you this holiday season someplace like this of your very own. At the risk of repeating myself, I am beyond thankful for my BFF and her family. Being around them, seeing them together, renews my own devotion to fighting for equality for everyone. Because, we need to keep working together to create more places of acceptance for more people around the world. 

I'm talking rainbows for all our winter wonderlands here, people. I envision a perfect world might look something like this lovely Rick Chris painting entitled Winter Evening.

So, today I've been contemplating what I can do. Here are a few things I came up with - I can continue to write my stories about characters who struggle to accept themselves and each other. I can continue to blog about LGBTQ issues and our community. But, I know this isn't nearly enough. So, I must continue to stay informed and get involved in other ways, giving my time, money, and, most importantly, my voice. Not simply online. I must continue writing letters and petitioning publicly and politically for change. Perhaps most important of all, I must continue to openly discuss the issues with my friends and family whenever the opportunity arises.

Some of the organizations I will continue to support in the coming year are The Trevor Project, Freedom to Marry, and The NOH8 Campaign. Miss Andi also just suggested another fantastic organization that I'm very excited about called, The Make it Safe Project. It was started by an amazing young girl named Amelia.  I plan on giving to this projects in lieu of Christmas gifts this year.

Yes, there are a lot of people out there like the BFF and Amelia, who remind me daily of how great it is to be human, to have community, to be living in a free country in this time of change. This holiday season, I find myself stepping into a winter wonderland of my own making, waving my rainbow flag, feeling hopeful and inspired.